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Mid-April, northern Europe was left marooned under a cloud of volcanic ashes. Meanwhile, smoke-free New York City was being tested by temperamental Spring weather and an invasion of European tourists with nowhere to go. A little known volcano in the volcanic island of Iceland was eagerly spewing smoke and ash plume over northern Europe, grounding most airline flights. It is no coincidence that Iceland chose a rogue volcano with an unpronounceable name to chastise the Europeans.
Some say (partly seriously) that the locals were co-opting the fury of Mother Nature to get even with the Europeans who had previously frozen their bank assets, or what was left of them. In 2008, as a result of the financial debacle the country went bust; its inhabitants became the financial pariahs of Europe. Volcano Eyjafjallajokull, a household name, had been conscripted to avenge the dejected Vikings. While all the major European airports were closed stranding millions of passengers, Reykjavik was operating. Schadenfreude feeling?
In the mid- 2000s, whale hunting not only had become hard work but, it had lost its glamour. The testosterone-endowed Vikings migrated into the less dangerous and sexier pursuit of hedge fund ventures. In the heyday, of the banking boom, the Icelandic whalers-turned-bankers had reinvented the small icy island into a hedge funds casino. European investors, mainly English and Dutch, were harpooned by the whalers-cum-bankers until they broke the roulette wheel and it all melted away. In terms of disruptive powers, Iceland punches above its weight!
Nowadays, if fewer whales are roaming the icy waters of Iceland more can be found in the glitzy palaces of Las Vegas. In casino parlance, a whale is a high roller, someone who commonly plays at least $ 25,000 a hand. One of these high-skates gamblers is under a cloud. He has recently made headlines not for his gambling dependence but for his indiscriminate sexual addiction. Tiger Woods, to name him has gone through a 180 degrees reverse rebranding, from an impeccable role model for sportsmanship to a poster boy for indiscriminate sex.
Since the National Enquirer tabloid revealed his multifold extramarital indiscretions, and Vanity Fair magazine coined the expression ‘Girlathon gallery” and interviewed some of the most loquacious members of his gallery, Tiger’s playground became a case study for the underground casino economy. Tiger liked to cavort with whales and was apparently munificent at the casino table. In contrast, in the casino bedroom he is not remembered for giving generous post-coital gratuities. He routinely charged his “sexcapades” bills to Team Tiger Inc.
During the financial crisis all streets were not equal. If Main Street has been the main casualty, and Wall Street the main winner, the Las Vegas Strip stands in between. Few whales went belly up; night clubs didn’t loose their lease and the courtesan economy remained buoyant as ever. The French luxury industry and the female workers are the main beneficiaries of the nightclub and casino economy. Perched on their red sole Louboutin shoes the ladies sell bottles of high end Krug and Crystal champagne and Grey Goose vodka to the whales and pocket thousand of dollars in tips into their Louis Vuitton bags.
In spite of his idol status on the greens, Tiger Woods was a whale among others in the casino and nightclub underworld. It is somewhat amusing to read that one of the girls on his long payroll Googled him to figure out how much he was worth. That he could carry on under the radar with so many women for so long is amazing. Many envious philandering husbands must wonder how he managed. Tiger may never regain his prestige on the golf courses; he could consider opening a consulting business for high flying cheating dudes.
These days, the word casino is not uniquely associated with Tiger’s lexicon. Wall Street is regarded as the ultimate whale’s cesspool. Wall Street banking houses have even a better “house edge”* than casinos, and the odds are very much in their favor. Financial crisis oblige, bankers have replaced lawyers as the most vilified occupation in America. One of the most prestigious banks Goldman Sachs is under a cloud; it stands accused of making money against its clients, very much like a casino. It was reported that in 2007 Goldman Sachs sold housing investments betting that the mortgage market will crash; consequently its misled investors lost millions.
Know as Abacus, this toxic mortgage-related instrument is the brain child of a French wunderkind bond-trader called Fabrice Tourre. Mr. Tourre who refers to himself as “Fabulous Fab,” was so proud of having concocted “Frankenstein” type investment that he bragged about selling them in airports to widows and orphans. Who would have guessed that Wall Street was the preserve of narcissistic and conceited ass-holes? As a reward for his callousness, Fab Fab made a $2 million bonus in 2007.
This is chickenfeed compared to what his boss earned. The same year CEO Lloyd Blankfein modestly pocketed $9 million. He is the guy who claimed to be doing “God’s work.” He may have meant “devil’s work. Will Goldman Sachs go down in history as the Svengali of Wall Street? If the firm doesn’t clear its name, Bernie Madoff will soon look like a model of virtue.
Imponderabilia Photo by Mary Altaffer, AP.
All these developments were of little concern to the thousands of European tourists stranded, some penniless, in the Big Apple. The lucky few explored the many museums of the city, and there was plenty to discover from the harmless to the provocative. The provocative was without doubt the large exhibit of artist Marina Abramovic at the Museum of Modern Art, MOMA. The exhibit titled “The Artist is Present” was the art happening du moment.
The MOMA had a successful double-bill with Tim Burton for kids, and Abramovic for grown-ups and voyeurs. The museum was mobbed from 10 am to closing time. The Serbian grande provocatrice was on hand all the time. Abramovic is known for her installations of very much-alive-naked bodies. In past exhibitions, she had herself posed in the nude. At MOMA, she could be seen seated motionless at a table wearing a bright red gown and facing a visitor. Volunteers had to sign up for the excitement of fixing her in the eyes for a 15 minute shift. The volunteer line was impressively long. Throng of visitors walked through the spacious galleries where the retrospective of her creations was exhibited.
The key attraction was a controversial 1977 piece called Imponderabilia. A naked man and a naked woman face each others in a doorway, and visitors are invited to pass through the gap. The two models were not particularly good looking: pear shaped breasts on one side, and dangling skinny penis on the other. In spite of the lack of glamour and sex appeal, many visitors waited to squeeze through for the titillating experience. Although MOMA had doubled the number of guards, those on duty were exceptionally busy. They had to prevent visitors from covertly taking pictures with their cell phones, and from touching the exhibits. Touching and groping were apparently reported; the artist approved interaction between visitors and exhibits.
The ash cloud caused misery to many people, but New York City is a nice city to be stranded. The Big Apple is the bargain capital of the world for Europeans and other foreigners; a place where you can buy a $ 730.00 designer jacket for only $ 220.00.
During this time, Brazilians were getting headaches filing their tax forms. Fortunately the government had two pieces of good news for the stressed tax payers. (1) As of 2010, cosmetic surgery expenses can be deducted from one’s tax return, and (2) the Health minister recommended sex as a cure to lower one’s high blood pressure.
Brazil understands that healthy and happy people are less of a burden to the national budget than sick and grumpy ones. If Brazil had been stranded under a cloud of volcanic ashes, its citizen would have certainly followed the minister’s prescription to the letter.
Beatrice Labonne, May 3rd, 2010.
* House edge can be defined as the ratio of a player’s average loss as compared to his/her initial bet.
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